


Feeding the Family

by BladedBlossom



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Drama, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-29 21:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12639513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BladedBlossom/pseuds/BladedBlossom
Summary: Peeta needs company after a flashback and prevails upon Haymitch to provide it. Haymitch finds that Peeta isn't the only one who is helped.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: It never ceases to fascinate me how I can plan a story to go one way and then it changes as I write it. Doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it's a joy. 
> 
> I planned for this fic to be more angsty. Instead, it turned out to have elements of hurt/comfort and as much sugar content as Peeta's cookies. Go figure. Of course, the angst was going to be resolved, too, but this turned out better to me than my original idea. The one thing that did go according to plan is that this is a story that highlights Peeta's relationship to Haymitch, and vice versa.
> 
> P.S. I don't think the flashback accurately resembles a real one. I can't speak from personal experience, so it's probably wrong. Please don't kill me.
> 
> Disclaimer: _The Underneath_ is a real book by Kathi Appelt. It snuck up on me in the telling of this story and influenced its direction. I loved the book and think people should give it a try.

Peeta carefully removed a cookie sheet from the oven, laden with twelve soft chocolate chip cookies and an equal number of oatmeal ones with raisins and nuts. As he placed the sheet on the cooling rack on his counter, he felt a cold thrill of fear. He knew in that instant a flashback was coming on. Moving deliberately, he shut the oven door, switched it off, and went at a fast walk toward his bedroom. It was the place he felt safest, a place he knew only those he trusted most would dare enter without permission. It was a place that would guarantee that only the right people would come upon him either in the throes of his episode or its aftermath, until he was composed enough to face the world again. Closing the door, but not locking it, he settled onto the carpeted floor beside his bed and waited.

Katniss returned home with ingredients for lamb stew. She planned to share with Peeta and Haymitch. She'd found a recipe in a cookbook Peeta had brought home. Peeta had come back with a sizable collection of books - fiction with representations from every genre, an encyclopedia, a dictionary, an atlas, and cookbooks. A lot of the cookbooks contained recipes for desserts Katniss remembered from the Capitol, but he also had books containing recipes for meals. Katniss smiled, recalling helping him to sort the books into categories and shelving them in the room clearly designed to be a study or library. Peeta had been so happy and excited. As her mind wandered back to that day, she was reminded that she meant to return a book she'd borrowed. It was called _The Underneath_ and Peeta had recommended it because the lamia reminded him of her. At first, she hadn't known how to feel about that, but by the end, she thought she understood.

Katniss put her groceries in her refrigerator and picked up the book from a table beside her recliner, riffling the pages just to hear the rustling the pages made. It kind of reminded her of the wind playing with leaves. She left her house and headed toward Peeta's, swinging her arms as she walked. 

Knocking on the door, Katniss waited several moments but got no answer. She knocked a few times more, harder. Still no response. She frowned in annoyance, then shook her head and headed back home. She decided she'd call Peeta and leave a message on his answering machine. He could always come by and pick it up or call her back. He was probably dead to the world, painting or napping. He might even be out. He had to get his supplies from somewhere, after all. She decided she'd just start on the stew and when it was left to simmer, she could check if he was available then.

The phone was loud in Peeta's quiet room, making him start. He was partway up to answer it before he changed his mind and sank back onto the floor, unfolding his legs in front of him and leaning against his bed. The jangle of the ring wasn't helping his already frazzled nerves, but there was nothing for it but to not answer. It just wasn't a good time. 

After four rings, the phone stopped. Peeta debated whether to check his machine or stay where he was. He knew he should probably stay put, but he reasoned it would only take a few minutes to see who called and then he could return.

Using the bed for leverage, Peeta got to his feet and left his room. Striding down the stairs, he crossed the living room to his machine and played back the message.

"Hi, Peeta. You know who this is." A pause. "Anyway, I finished ..." The rest of the message faded out as Peeta ran from the room and back upstairs, slamming the door to his room with a bang and dropping to the floor by his bed, panting heavily. He sprawled across the plush carpet on his side and lay his head down, shivering as if cold. 

It was so cold. He heard Katniss calling his name, but the sound was sinister and cruel. He curled up small, tucking his knees close to his body and his head down toward his chest. 

"Peeta!" Katniss called, from some distance away. The sound was harsh, angry. "Peeta, where are you?"

Peeta stayed quiet, his muscles taut, his mind bracing for an attack.

"Peeta!" Closer this time. Soon she'd find him. But how could he run? He was disabled now. He was sure he'd never make it. He just had to hope she'd pass his hiding place. He was in a cave in a reasonably remote location. 

"Peeta!" The voice was farther away again. Now it was unmistakably frantic. Not angry, but panicked.

Peeta swallowed hard and came up short. That was odd. Why would Katniss sound so afraid? Surely she wasn't afraid of him. She was a mutt. Mutts didn't fear anything.

And then the part of his brain that knew this wasn't real - the part of his brain that had been honed in treatment with Dr. Aurelius - asserted itself and whispered. _Where are you?,_ it asked. _Who are you with?_

He didn't know. His fear was not so intense now, but it was still there. He uncurled his body and relaxed, but his mind was still on alert.

_Where?_

He felt the floor beneath him, softer than he expected. _Carpet,_ he thought. He rose to a sitting position and touched the cotton sheets of his bed. He realized he was in his house, and with that thought came the realization that he was alone. _Not real._ It wasn't real.

He let out a relieved breath and got to his feet, pushing against the floor with a hand. His fear was draining away fast, being replaced with a need to not be alone. Still, he could not go and see Katniss. Not after what he'd experienced.

Remembering his cookies, he went to the kitchen and packed a container for Haymitch with four of each flavor. He wasn't sure if Haymitch would like the oatmeal ones, but if not, he wouldn't be offended if he gave them back or gave them away. He packed a similar container for Katniss and one for himself, splitting the cookies evenly. Satisfied, he picked up Haymitch's container and set off for his house, reasonably sure he'd find him coherent. Haymitch was much better about his drinking since Peeta's return. It was a month since he'd been back, and he hadn't seen Haymitch drunk once. He'd seen him drinking, but he seemed to be making an effort to reduce his intake, for which Peeta was immensely proud.

Peeta knocked on Haymitch's door, calling his name at a decently loud volume. He couldn't be said to be shouting, but the call could not be missed by anyone nearby. After knocking again and waiting for about half a minute, he turned aside in preparation to go home and call him to see if he was even there when the door was yanked open with a rattle.

"Well? Come in, boy. Stop making a racket." Haymitch's words were gruff, but his tone was only halfhearted. There was even a hint of affection there.

Peeta grinned and stepped inside, pulling the door closed behind him. "Hello, Haymitch. I have cookies." Haymitch scowled. "Chocolate chip and oatmeal with raisins and nuts." Haymitch's expression turned thoughtful. "If you don't want them, I'm sure Katniss will take a couple more, so it's no problem."

Haymitch moved ahead of Peeta to his dining room table, motioning for him to set the container on it. Peeta did so and took a seat while Haymitch disappeared into his kitchen. He returned bearing two mugs of milk. Haymitch set a mug in front of Peeta and sat across from him, waiting expectantly.

Peeta opened the container and pushed it toward Haymitch, who took one of each cookie and bit into the oatmeal one with a grimace.

"Don't like raisins," came Haymitch's disgruntled mutter, crumbs falling onto the table in front of him as he set the cookie down and stood up again.

Peeta raised his eyebrows. "What? But I told you that one had raisins."

As Haymitch went back to the kitchen, he answered. "Just remember not to put raisins in mine next time. I like them otherwise, as I knew I would." Peeta heard the clatter of plates and the ring of metal before Haymitch reappeared with two small plastic plates and a small knife. After putting a plate in front of Peeta, he cut away the portion of the cookie he'd bitten and set the clean piece on it while eating the leftover section. He selected another chocolate chip and shut the container, getting resettled and taking a draught of milk.

Peeta reached across the table for the container and opened it again, taking one of each type and replacing the lid before taking a bite of his partial one. He finished the cookie and drank half his milk in one long session before focusing on Haymitch and then faltering.

Haymitch munched his cookie sedately, idly musing about how Peeta and Katniss brought him food as though he weren't capable of getting his own. He felt a stab of shame at that - being cared for by kids. But he couldn't bring himself to tell them to stop. It felt nice to be thought of, especially by them. He didn't know if they knew how much he cared about them. They weren't just pieces to him; not any more. They were his family. Seeing his victors recuperating and getting along so well strengthened him in a way he could never manage by himself, and he could never, ever repay that. He thought that just maybe, he could live out the rest of his days in contentment, and it was a sweetness he had been sure he would never see when he was part of the rebellion.

Peeta, noticing Haymitch was far away, cleared his throat softly. Haymitch refocused immediately, blinking. "Haymitch, can I talk to you?"

"You already are."

Peeta choked out a chuckle, rolling his eyes. "Come on. I...I need a friend here."

"Then you've come to the wrong place. You should know that, boy."

It was Peeta's turn to scowl. "I have nowhere else to go. I could wander around, I suppose, but I need more than just surface company."

"Doesn't your girl serve for that?"

"Katniss?"

"Who else would I mean?"

"I don't know if she's-"

Haymitch stared at him with such contempt that Peeta dropped his head and flushed.

"I...We just never...talked about what we are."

"You sit beside each other when you invite me to dinner. I've seen her run fingers through your hair. I even saw her feed you a piece of your cake. With her fork. And you were perfectly capable of feeding yourself. What's there to talk about?"

"I just...like things to be official."

"So go over there right now and ask her. And if she hasn't injured you too badly after that, you can get her to be your friend."

Peeta grimaced at that. He suspected Haymitch was right and Katniss wouldn't take his question very well.

"And hell. If she injures you, you can milk it for all its worth. You shouldn't have any doubt about your status then."

Peeta blushed and laughed genuinely, but shook his head. Sobering, he gave a long sigh. "I can't go over there. I...I had a flashback. She was in it, calling me. I thought she was out to get me. But the difference now is that a part of me knew what was happening and I could gradually wake up. I'm afraid that if I'm alone with her so soon afterward, I'll go away again and injure or kill her. I'm at full strength now. Not like before. I just can't risk it."

Understanding dawned on Haymitch's face. He took this moment to finish one cookie and start on another. "How about I walk you over? I can stay there until you're sure of yourself."

"No. It's better I stay here. Or I can go home again. I just can't be alone, wherever I am, until I'm steadier. Maybe over time, it'll get easier. I don't know."

Haymitch got up from his chair and walked around beside Peeta, resting a firm but gentle hand on his shoulder. Peeta smiled gratefully up at him. Giving Peeta's shoulder a few pats and then a solid squeeze, Haymitch returned to his chair and retook it.

It was at this point that Katniss knocked on the front door.


	2. Chapter 2

Peeta clenched his fists, looking around frantically for somewhere to run. 

Haymitch indicated the general direction of the stairs. "You could hide in a guest room. I have a few."

"I'll keep it in mind. It's just...She might be looking for me. She called me before I came over here. I'd better stay."

"Well, if it's too much..." He trailed off as Katniss banged on the door again. "I'd better get that."

Peeta watched the entrance to the dining room apprehensively. He kept reminding himself that Haymitch wasn't far, but the thought didn't help as much as it normally would with the prospect of meeting Katniss linked to it. He had to calm down. But somehow, he just knew this wasn't going to go well. Maybe because he already had ample prior evidence of it not going well, if the insults and tears in District 13 were anything to go by.

Haymitch and Katniss came through the door, Katniss making her way to the seat beside Peeta. Her glance took in the milk and cookies still unfinished and saw she was interrupting something she hadn't been invited to. Katniss knew Peeta had a right to see Haymitch alone if he wanted, but she couldn't help feeling excluded and hurt. It must have shown on her face because Peeta stiffened beside her, but didn't move away.

"Peeta," Katniss began, her tone accusing. "You were at home. You must have gotten my message. Why didn't you call back? I mean, you had time to come here. You could have stopped by before."

"Jealous, sweetheart?" Haymitch snarked, smirking. 

Katniss rolled her eyes at Haymitch, but couldn't quite deny it.

Peeta picked up the cookie on his plate, turned it over in his hands, offered it to Katniss, who shook her head. He set it back on his plate and rested his hands on either side of it on the table, head turned toward her.

"Peeta?" she prompted, unaccustomed to him not answering.

"I couldn't," Peeta whispered hoarsely.

"Sure you could. It's not that difficult to walk across the way or dial my number."

"It...uh...It wasn't that simple." Again, his voice was husky and quiet.

Katniss sat down next to Peeta and looked closely at him. She could tell he wasn't quite relaxed. Now that she stopped to think about it, his voice didn't sound right, either. "Peeta? Is something wrong?" Her tone was actually concerned.

Peeta felt hope begin to come alive. "I...I was afraid I'd hurt you. So soon after..." He trailed off, but his voice was stronger, more like it should be. Not perfect, but much better.

"After what?"

Peeta couldn't bring himself to answer. He looked to Haymitch for help.

"Sweetheart, remember District 13?" Haymitch prompted. "Peeta in handcuffs?"

Katniss' eyes widened. "You had a flashback?" she asked shrilly. "And you didn't want me there? Didn't want me to help?"

"Well, I did, but-" Peeta trailed off again.

And then Katniss realized the significance of what Peeta had said about hurting her. "Oh, Peeta," she crooned gently, reaching to take him in her arms.

But Peeta jumped up and sidestepped away, arms folded protectively across his torso.

Katniss felt the sting of rejection and glared up at Peeta, but not before he registered the flash of pain that preceded her anger. "Fine. I was hoping I could stay and socialize while my stew cooked, but I guess I'm not wanted. Here's your book." She threw it down beside his plate, stood up, and nodded curtly to Haymitch. "Haymitch, I wanted to share the stew with you and Peeta. Have dinner together. But maybe that's not happening tonight. I'll drop by later with your share. It's lamb. If you don't want it, I guess I'll just keep it."

"I want it. Sorry. No extra for you."

"You're not really sorry." One corner of Katniss' mouth twitched upward slightly in spite of herself.

"You're right." Haymitch offered a half-smile in return. "You can see your own way out."

Katniss opened her mouth to grumble about Haymitch's rudeness, but then glanced at Peeta and remembered that he'd just had a flashback. Peeta had talked to her some weeks ago about how he should be helped during and after an episode, and he'd mentioned the importance of not being left alone until he felt like himself again. She shut her mouth and thought further about how she'd walked in and greeted him by scolding him. She hated how Peeta could always make her feel guilty without saying anything. She swallowed hard and turned to Peeta, extending a hand to him.

Peeta did not move to take it.

"Peeta," Katniss said softly, "I'm sorry."

Peeta still didn't take her hand, but his arms unfolded and his legs lost their tension.

"I'm sorry I didn't come in and say hello like a decent person. Returning the book wasn't that urgent. I remember you told me that after a flashback, you tended to be kind of vulnerable and needed to feel safe. I get that. You always make me feel safe. During the night." She paused, waiting until Peeta understood her reference. "I...I did the wrong thing." Throughout this speech, Katniss gaze remained steady on Peeta's face. 

Peeta took her hand and lead her back to her chair. "Stay with us."

Katniss smiled up at him. "May I have your cookie?"

Peeta smiled and nodded. He glanced over at Haymitch. "Haymitch, I think we're eating all your cookies. Sorry about that. I'll give you mine."

"Technically, boy, they're yours. You made them, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but these were a gift."

Haymitch shrugged. "Keep your share. These cookies are great, but they're a lot for me when I only like half of them. No raisins next time, and I'll take them."

"I'll remember."

Katniss rummaged in the container and got a chocolate chip cookie out.

"Katniss, can you get me another oatmeal? And I'm sure Haymitch won't mind if you take his last one."

Katniss did as requested, emptying the container. She handed Peeta an oatmeal and dropped the others on the plate as she relished a chocolate chip cookie. "I'll get you some milk," Peeta called over his shoulder as he walked to the kitchen. 

Haymitch caught Katniss's eye as Peeta left and nodded to her approvingly. "Good job, sweetheart." He motioned toward the kitchen.

Katniss frowned, but nodded back. "Thanks." Her tone was self-deprecating.

Peeta returned with another mug of milk in one hand and a plate with his cookie on it in the other, smiling as Haymitch finished his second cookie and Katniss bit into an oatmeal one with a smile of her own. Peeta put the milk by her plate and sat beside Katniss, taking her hand and squeezing it warmly as she drank the cold liquid greedily. The three friends finished their snacks and milk together. By now, Haymitch and Peeta's milk was rather warm, but neither man complained.

The three Hunger Games victors sat together and enjoyed the silence, Katniss and Peeta holding hands and Haymitch feeling as though he were home in a way he hadn't been in so long. Not since before his Games.

Katniss finally broke the peace. "I need to get back and check on the stew. Haymitch, you're invited to dinner. Peeta, you'll be there, right?"

Peeta slid his hand out of Katniss's and nodded.

"But neither of you have to come. Peeta, I think I owe you time to yourself after what I did."

"Would you be sad if I didn't come?" Peeta queried.

Katniss stood to leave, putting the last oatmeal cookie in the container and taking it with her. She paused as she began walking toward the door and turned around to look at Peeta. "I'd wish you came."

Haymitch cut in. "I'm sure you've already made up your mind, boy, but in case you need more incentive, just think about me and Katniss in the same room alone. For two hours. Without you or Effie to calm us down. Because you know how we are."

Peeta chuckled and gave a mock shudder. "I guess I have no choice, in that case. Have to either rescue the breakables or clean up the mess."

"I'll see you at my place." Katniss sounded normal, but the spring in her step and the brightness of her eyes gave her away. Peeta grinned after her, and then turned serious as he turned back to Haymitch.

"Haymitch, I guess I don't have to talk after all. I think I'm all right to go home. I really appreciate you being there for me. I really needed someone, and you didn't start off by snapping at me."

"Well, technically I did."

"No." Peeta paused, thinking back to how Haymitch had greeted him with an admonishment to stop making noise. "That is, maybe. But you didn't mean it."

"I...Yeah. I see what you mean.

"And about being there, I know about nightmares. And I know about being alone after them. I couldn't turn you away."

Peeta looked into Haymitch's eyes and clasped his hand firmly. Haymitch nodded solemnly in acknowledgement, then released his grip on Peeta.

Peeta stood to leave and Haymitch walked him to the door. Peeta reached to hug Haymitch, eyebrows lifting uncertainly. Haymitch stood, considering, but just as Peeta turned to open the door, Haymitch draped an arm across his shoulders and Peeta turned back to reciprocate. Haymitch maneuvered them so they ended up facing each other in a full embrace, one hand moving to pat Peeta's back of its own accord. When Haymitch broke the contact, Peeta stepped back with a beaming smile. Haymitch, in his turn, savored the balm to his wounded heart that the smile conferred. This, he remembered, was what love felt like.


End file.
